Ah, Stabler in prison, torturing somebody. It's just like the good old days of Oz.

In other news, attempting to write Law & Order fanfic frequently has me throwing my hands up and wailing about not knowing anything about US law. But then I watch actual Law & Order and realise that isn't much of a handicap. An undercover operation involving three detectives, a lawyer, an FBI psychologist and a high school boy. Of course! Totally okay legally!

Cutest thing in the world for today: Don Cragen cuddling a baby gibbon.

Am distracting myself from my IMPENDING DEATH BY COUGHING by thinking about Connotations. Who else is going this year?

(God, I really hope no weird, tall Australians show up and expect to, like, share a room with me or something.)

Am watching season 10 SVU as a palate-cleanser from Torchwood.

Season ten Stabler is fucking psycho, isn't he? It's quite entertaining. His solution to everything is ELLIOT SMASH!

Somebody stole his credit card? ELLIOT SMASH!

Somebody tracked down pictures of his daughter? ELLIOT SMASH!

I think Finn has the right idea. Transfer the fuck out and, in the meantime, refuse to partner with him.

( Torchwood Day 4 )

I am now going back to DYING.

Am dying of mutant avian swine death flu.

I love you all (except you). Remember me when I'm gone!

*dies*

I had trouble getting to sleep last night because my nose was bunged up and I had a bit of a sore throat. I woke up this morning to discover my nose had turned into Victoria Falls and somebody had sandpapered my throat.

Obviously, I'm not ill enough all the time anyway, so the universe has chosen to punish me further! Thank you, universe!

I'm going to go and wallow in Merlin fanfic some more. After I've raided my remarkably well-stocked medicine chest shoebox.

( Torchwood 3x02 )

I totally need to stop saying totally.

I HAZ AN EPIC BORED.

I'm about to start smashing my head against things because at least then I might get interesting swirly lights to look at. Or, if I'm really lucky, I might knock myself unconscious and not come round until it's 5pm!

Also, I've given myself an ulcer by eating too much salty liquorice.

I get very confused when people refer to Torchwood COE or just COE. I start wondering when Torchwood became associated with the Church of England and that leads to AUs where Jack's an American evangelist and Ianto's a curate in an impoverished inner-city parish. There is conflict over weak orange squash and rich tea biscuits, because Jack is convincing the local parishioners to give their money to him rather than Ianto's church and, dammit, Ianto's church needs a new roof! If he doesn't find the funds he may have to sell his magnificent organ! (Pipe organ, you filthy-minded degenerates.)

Have watched the first three eps of Kings and my love for Kareem Said/Senator Joy/Rev. Samuels continues to be filthy and impure. I would happily listen to that man read the telephone directory. Actually, I think I'd even listen to that man Twilight.

Unfortunately, episode four is still downloading so I shall go to bed instead, and hopefully wallow in further Kings tomorrow. (If they don't give me David/Jack, I shall sob and read the Bible instead.)

ETA: Bugger, ep 4 has finished downloading. There goes my impetus to go to bed. BAH.

( So, I couldn't resist Torchwood. )

Why has nobody else posted about it yet???? DAMMIT, HURRY UP PEOPLE.

I'm thinking that I might save up Torchwood until the weekend and watch it all in one giant splurge. Then again, the badness would probably make my brain explode.

Either way, I'm definitely not watching it tonight because I'm about to crawl into bed and go splat. Hopefully, tonight will be cool enough that I can sleep without sleepytiems pills, seeing as I only have one sleepy pill left and can't get any more until Thursday. (Speaking of! I got refills on three of my prescriptions today and I got them from a different pharmacy and they're DIFFERENT! The one that's normally big and cream and beige is now small and brown and orange! And it comes in a little bottle rather than a blister pack! The one that's normally a rounded oblong is now a circle! MY DRUGS LOOK DIFFERENT AND I DO NOT LIKE IT.)

On Saturday, Starbucks burned my panini so they gave me a bunch of free drink vouchers. I used one this morning to get an EXTRA SUPER-DUPER-HUMONGOUS CUP OF CAFFEINE AND SUGAR. Alas, it has done nothing to counteract the effect of the full dose of sleepytiems pills I took last night yesterday afternoon. Damn dirty drugs! *shakes fist*

Then again, perhaps it has...

I am wearing new shoes today and I forgot to bring plasters, so I have just raided the first aid box. MY HEEL IS BLEEDING AND TOTES REQUIRES FIRST AID. CALL AN AMBULANCE!

I had an awesome dream last night. It was all about a new TV show that JK Simmons and Lee Tergesen were doing. JK and Lee were bestest friends; Lee was happily married with a teenaged son while JK was a recovering alcoholic, divorced and didn't even know where his kids were living. Anyway, he decided Lee was responsible for his fucked up life and set out to destroy Lee's life, while still being his bestest friend. Oh, and there was dub-con sexing. Quite a lot of it, mostly involving roofies. It was awesome and disturbing and wrong and evidence that watching Oz again probably isn't good for the healthiness of my dreams.

I am working days this week while the rest of my team works nights and I therefore have absolutely nothing to do. Unfortunately, all the stories I'm writing require pr0n and I therefore can't really write them at work.

I thought I'd read a quick bit of Victory of Eagles before going to sleep. It's now 6.40am and I've just finished it. Oops?

But, man, that book needed some serious proof-reading. Most of the errors, I could figure out but I'm still stumped by, 'brushing long aristocratic face'.

I've just watched Lee Tergesen play an evil redneck Aryan gunnery sergeant intent on nuking... something. Anything, as far as I can tell. Oh, JAG. You're so crap. (And let's not get into the, "My partner's okay but she's got this thing about proving she's as good as any male officer," and the rapeyness. Welcome to the 90s...) I have now decided that I will only be watching him in Law & Order derivatives and anything made by HBO. There's only so much pain I'm willing to inflict on myself.

(I kind of love that he considers Terry from Wayne's World to be the character most like himself.)